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My loveless... my wing.
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 01:58:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
______________________
i adored your blistering hate
my loveless, my wing
with eyes you captured my fate
my loveless, my wing
______________________
you tortured and cured me, i cried!
so i let you be hate till i sighed!
all for your arms to surround me.....
______________________
i adored your razor-like word
my loveless, my wing
you keep me here caged like a bird
my loveless, my wing
_____________________
you poked me with sticks and your eyes!
i then fed on your birdseed and lies!
all for your heart to surround me.....
_____________________
i lick my wounds til i'm fed
my loveless, my wing
i'm weak while you fly strong instead
my loveless, my wing
____________________
you waited till time took my youth!
and then let me fade like the truth!
i'm only here for you.. aren't I?
my loveless..... my wing.
dW
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-07-28 13:58:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My loveless... my wing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by gabby521 on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 02:19:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| A very emotional write. I like it. Keep up the good work. |
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Re: My loveless... my wing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 03:46:06 PM AEST
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Wow... such emotion... I hope to read more of your work soon!!!
Love ya,
~Kiela~ |
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Re: My loveless... my wing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 03:48:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i agree with Gabby...emotional indeed! but VERy well written. i like the repitition..it kind of highlights the Vulnerability expresed throughout this poem. I like how your mistakes and pain come out in this. great job. |
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Re: My loveless... my wing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Justintears on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 04:40:41 PM AEST
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Well done. I love the way in which you broke up the lines into the various verses.
"I lick my wounds til' I'm fed...
I'm weak while you fly strong instead..."
Nothing but pure brilliance...
~justin~ |
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Re: My loveless... my wing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 11:56:37 PM AEST
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Nice write DW and it was much enjoyed. So much loss and sorrow in it I can feel the pain of the lost love. I really like the last stanza. that’s one thing I like about your writes they always end strong.
you waited till time took my youth!
and then let me fade like the truth!
i'm only here for you.. aren't I?
my loveless..... my wing.
Keep up the good writes and take care. Sorry if I don’t always read your work I just don’t have a lot of free time over here in Iraq right now….Steve |
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