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Silent Suicide
Contributed by
juliette
on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 06:51:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
If you wanted to
you could release me from this loss laden life;
place me on an island of calm isolation.
You might disguise my escape,
quietly relieve the minds of those left behind;
convince them of the value of freedom from ties to
an unfeeling heart.
Perhaps you would plant me in a place
of permanently clear skies,
where I can forget to feel this passive ache;
appreciate the crippling numbness,
before I am prominently healed.
Oh, if you wanted to you could.......
But you don't; you won't.
Instead I am forbidden release
from this recurring dream
which seals my fate;
Forced to live out the trauma,
Denied my silent, saving, suicide.
Copyright ©
juliette
... [
2005-07-27 18:51:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silent Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aaralyn on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 08:58:57 PM AEST
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| *claps* I like this a lot! You can tell that there is a lot of emotion behind it and that always makes for good pieces! I can relate to this... you are not alone... |
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Re: Silent Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 12:49:32 AM AEST
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Oh I can really relate to this! No you are not the only one...Great emotional release in this write...Your expression is very good, and your anguish is fully felt...Well done!
Scorp. |
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Re: Silent Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 11:29:43 PM AEST
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Save for the suicide..I bet 95% of mankind could relate to this..
We ALL would love to travel to grandure and forget, dutiful life forever-
Great write-
B |
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Re: Silent Suicide
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 02:05:06 PM AEST
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***** you could release me from this loss laden life;
place me on an island of calm isolation.
I like these two sentences formed..
loss laden life... calm isolation....
I perceived the feeling of the death.. our lost ones.. that have already moved on...
and the calm isolation would be that of heaven..
I like how you start out, slow contact ... about to slowly explore why you cannot leave..
Its as though memories of you have already began.. frozen in time...
Thinking back of the losses.. lots of loss, so give me permission to leave.. place me on a calm island (heaven)
Yes, I like how you ask for permission.. to excuse yourself from this world of loss... the answer is no..
Those two first lines are very deep, full of expression, feelings.. also.. I can see the person standing there, asking for the permission ... If you wanted to....
I am telling you, those first two lines kept my eyes right there, for a good 5 min.
****** quietly relieve the minds of those left behind;
yes, definately.. the ones left behind.. have it hard... living in the pain... the loss...
Make up any old excuse.. give any answer... tell lies if that will help ... to remove the burden of pain, of loss..
The one moving on to the island will not be the one suffering.. only those left behind.. another great sentence... very, very descriptive... the image and the sound is respresented in that sentence as well..
******Perhaps you would plant me in a place
of permanently clear skies,
where I can forget to feel this passive ache;
appreciate the crippling numbness,
before I am prominently healed.
As though you are making a plea.. I beg you, set me free.. let me go... get me out of this world of pain fast... I don't care how you do it, but do it, and do it now, do it well..
Makes one wonder, if we did force our death... would our pain be over.. ??? would this solve anything.... would our memories die.. its almost like.. trying to kill yourself.. you only mame yourself, to become crippled, a living vegetable.. now that is very, very scary... I think I am going to stick it out on this planet, pain or not.. because why, I am not certain of anything else ahead of me.. the what if's..
*****Oh, if you wanted to you could.......
But you don't; you won't.
Positive certainty, that the other person is going to force you to stay and live losses, pains... that you may as well stick around, because the other person you are speaking to has to live in it too.. so why expect for the other person to grant you your wish...
***** from this recurring dream
Yes, life does seem like a reoccuring dream at times..
Forced to live out the trauma,
Denied my silent, saving, suicide.
Yes, forced by others to stick it out.. you are denied permission to complete such an ugly assignment of death...
Wondering who is saving who here...
Well by asking for permission, in the beginning, calms my mind to know that you will fail at the attempts of suicide..
This entire write to me, gives me this sense of slowing down.. to focus on our lives, where we are today, where we have come from .. the past..
The last stanza..
*****Instead I am forbidden release
from this recurring dream
Yes, you cannot be excused to leave...
the dream repeats daily...which represents living body..
*****which seals my fate;
Yes, your answer was a no.. you cannot escape,, and this is your fate.. to stay here with us.. sweat it out.. each day...
Forced to live out the trauma,
Denied my silent, saving, suicide.
Denied my silent, saving, suicide.
Well the whole plot is about ones escape from the world.. and yet can't get out of it.. comfortably.. just can't find a good reason to leave.
You know, I guess one of the biggest reasons why I get angry with people wanting to committ suicide is because..
Oh yea, thanks alot bud.. for leaving me to clean up all the dirty mess you left behind..
makes me want to slap them.. say.. hey.. pick up your dirty dishes, put them in the sink and behave yourself..
Ok, well I really liked this poem, it took a lot out of me mentally and physically as I read it..
It really did have a sense of hope throughout, simply because of how you asked for permission..
It was a stop before you got started .. the answer no.. was implied right at the beginning..
I liked this poem... classified as suicide.. I wrote one, and I wish I would not have... but perhaps we can all write about suicide on paper.. kill ourselves in print only... just to release the pent up feelings we all get now and then.. just write a poem, blow it up, blow yourself to pieces.. cut yourself up .. bloody yourself mad.... but only do it in writing, never, ever do it for real.. only write about it..
If we all did that more often, we would be better off.. this is why I enjoy writing.. it really does help to take the pressures off of our daily tasks... and also.. it pleasures me in many ways..
Thank you for this wonderful write.. I am glad you left out the blood and guts... in type..
The suicide poems that I have read look like a recipe ... has all the ingredients listed to make a suicide.. and directions follow..
Your poem here created was enriched by allowing us to join in your pains .. Yes a very unselfish write...
If you would have listed the knife and blood etc etc, it would show the selfishness of the individual..
RLPoetess ; )))
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