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A poem for YOU
Contributed by
MnMnMsrcool
on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 07:27:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Will I ever say
I love you again?
After all of the pain and agony
You have made me go through
is there anything left
(no I don't think so)
What are friends for?
(not what you think)
What do you want?
(not me I hope)
You already made that clear
(oh crystal clear)
Was it worth it?
All the pain you made me go through
God I hope not
Hot tears of pain
making there way down my face
(as I realize...your not worth my tears)
Not worth anymore pain
You were just a distraction from reality
and as I move from my dreams
and back into reality
life is there waiting
with a big hammer
(right into my stomach)
As I gasp for breath you stand there
laughing at me
moving down the road
your life already moving forward
You never look back
And I'm lying on the ground
Hearing your fading laugh
And life is standing over me laughing with you
Copyright ©
MnMnMsrcool
... [
2005-07-26 19:27:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A poem for YOU
(User Rating: 1 )
by thepizzaguy on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 09:50:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I like how you put your thoughts in parenthesis. It's almost like there are two people writing the poem, its awesome! |
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Re: A poem for YOU
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 12:47:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent, excellent, and excellent. this poem impressed me. very original, creative, and emotional. those are things i think you do very well at just going off this poem. i think youre poetry can really on be a bit better with a bit more use of capitalization and punctuation to make it more professional. your ending is the best as was your beginning. you started it off well and ended it even better. |
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Re: A poem for YOU
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 06:37:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I have to agree that having the phrases inside the parenthese helped deliver the anger and confusion you must have felt through this write.
great delivery and heartfelt stuff.. i like it
keep it up!
dw |
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