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Outcries Often Passed By
Contributed by
rockergirl94
on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 02:11:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I stumbled over an X painted on the ground,
and unveiled those melancholy grey eyes.
such depth,
questions unanswered lurking in those chasms,
and doubts flourishing as weeds.
melancholy grey eyes.
who will release them from their bonds,
from their chains of guilt.
they scream desperate pleas,
scream desperate cries,
“Who could love a sinner such as I?”
they second guess certainty,
as the gentle reply drifts to open ears,
“The Lord God hears those who call,
and penetrates your melancholy grey eyes.”
Copyright ©
rockergirl94
... [
2005-07-25 02:11:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Outcries Often Passed By
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:00:23 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Interesting work. I like the image that is described, and the glimmer of hope is indeed a bright and true one.
I would question the repetition of "melancholy grey eyes" only because it is a little long of a phrase, and I think the word "melancholy" needs to be used in great moderation due to its appearance in so many clichés. But that is personal taste. Keep writing!
Andrew |
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Re: Outcries Often Passed By
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shattered_soul on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 04:46:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This write is the first i have read from you and it was interesting, its something you have to think on, its sad but hope filled.
Keep up your writing
Em |
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Re: Outcries Often Passed By
(User Rating: 1 )
by edwynne on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 06:19:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| a really nice write, leaves u pondering |
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