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Release
Contributed by
wizard
on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 10:40:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
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Above, the backdrop of blue hosts the ivory clouds
Scattered about as bundles of purity,
And peeking through is the orange glow of a star so close to home
Off to the side though, is one of gray - trying to go unnoticed...
When this rain filled cloud's sorrow becomes too much to bear
It cries upon us all, releasing all of it's grief in a brutal weep
As to inform of its misery
Then gray it isn't - but white and pure like the rest...
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2005-07-24 22:40:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 11:15:18 PM AEST
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Good analogy here. Releasing pent-up emotion is not only good for you but extends your life. Stress can and does kill us or drive us to do destructive things that affect not only our lives but the lives of others. I like this poem and understand very well the meaning behind it.
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:17:43 AM AEST
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Great stroke of the pen Bro..
I can certainly relate to this.
B |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:36:36 AM AEST
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wow an excellent write.
way to go. |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 09:40:54 AM AEST
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Excellent use of imagery to display such a meaningful comparison...thus, metaphoric.
What I fond most intriguing was the use and choice of words, ie. this expression particularly; "backdrop of blue hosts"...
An abstract piece, most fair and articulate. |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:30:12 PM AEST
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Wow Wiz...this is quite fantastic I must say...Excellent use of imagery and expression! I really like this write a lot...Keep 'em coming, you are really good: )
Scorp. |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 05:56:33 PM AEST
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Very nice write like you style syas a lot in a
most gracefull way, well done . . .
Ben |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 09:35:38 PM AEST
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Ah, yes... we all have our turn at gray, don't we? I sort of hate though that this particular gray cloud is set apart from the others... "off to the side". *sigh*
A very tenderly expressed metaphor. Nice work here. To be extremely pedantic (and hopefully not annoying!), I'd suggest a tweaking of the first line... though it's just the comment placement that I'm thinking of... perhaps:
"Above the backdrop of blue hosts, the ivory clouds"
... just my two cents. Please, of course, feel free to ignore me if it feels right to do so.
Keep writing!
~Snem
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 08:35:14 PM AEST
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Well done, Wiz.. great imagery!!
Jenni |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 06:27:58 PM AEST
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WOW.what images run throught the mind on this write. Glad t see you have posted something. Do not work too hard. So white and pure?! Nice words.
Brew~ |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by gwenevere on
Sunday, 28th August 2005 @ 07:01:46 PM AEST
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| This is so clever.A weeping cloud.Like us all, a good weep makes us feel better.Fantastic write, Ros |
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Re: Release
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 14th February 2006 @ 08:52:59 PM AEST
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Your strength and optimism astound me, Paul. This was, by far
the best metaphorical piece I've read. The way you have personified
the "clouds" is truly remarkable. I actually felt like I wanted to hug it.
To take away, at least some of the sorrow. But there, at the
end is that unmistakable brightness. The more I read of you, the
more impressed I become.
I am humbled and stilled with admiration!
~Breezy |
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