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Four Minute Epitaph
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:45:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Obvious indifference
In oratory time
Ignorance meets impatience
And it bleeds into the rhyme.
(tick tick tick tick)
Palpable condescension
The potency now gone
Words turn supercilious
As right dares itself to wrong
(tick tock tick clock)
Counterfeit kindheartedness
The unforgiving crime
Sentenced, you, to solitude
As I’m shackled to the rhyme.
(tock tick tock tick)
(CLICK)
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-07-24 19:45:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by PuppyChow on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 08:40:05 PM AEST
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wow. at a lack for words...wow.
awesome job- i liked the wording.
keep it up
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 09:09:13 PM AEST
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Related well, sans swear words.
 |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 09:14:16 PM AEST
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Holy cow!!!
You GO Snemerella!
Reading this was like watching a written fist fight or something... it literally packs a punch.
Way to artfully convey yourself, babe!
Love and peace,
Chelsea |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 10:45:55 PM AEST
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i loved this..terse and full of emotion.
great post!
wizard |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 08:04:19 AM AEST
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This one left me wondering.....How many lapses were there in conversation? I dunno why but I read it twice and I wanted to know what wasn't written and what was thought--when no words were spoken.
Of course i'm odd and i've always thought you write with a voice that is rarely copied. Meaning its very unique, the way you write and it just stands out in my mind as having said something---something more than what i've read.
Pondering this one Snem.
Kie :) |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 10:00:59 AM AEST
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Holy cow!!! that was just Wow.
I feel i'm not even worthy on reading and commenting on this. This was just perfection.
I loved this in more wayes than one.
Jane~ |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 09:22:01 PM AEST
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Snem, you have packed such emotion into such a brief poem. Wonderful, wonderful write. I loved the ticks and tocks and clocks and then the CLICK.....just great. I also loved the conterfeit kindheartedness....I have been on the receiving end of that before and it stinks! Wonderful write, I loved it, the flow, the words usage, every thing....you created a perfect piece of prose!
Carol |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 11:36:33 PM AEST
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| snemmy from the first stanza to the last, i was extremely impressed. this is a masterpiece. |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 08:20:57 AM AEST
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As far as stink bombs go, at least this isn't the absolute worst I've seen.
Love and peace,
Chelsea
(who's already commented on this poem and knows Snemerella will notice such without this little tag, **wink, wink**) |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mangs on
Saturday, 20th August 2005 @ 11:53:23 AM AEST
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| Amazingly wonderful.....just goes to show lives can change is so less a time.... |
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Re: Four Minute Epitaph
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 18th June 2006 @ 12:09:13 AM AEST
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Wow, very impressive and unique! Um, very potent. It's like I could seem to sense you tapping your fingers on a table or counter (or something) being angry.
And the clock....I could hear it.
Snem, you never cease to amaze.
*hug*
Tim
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