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Black Water
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:39:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I stand in the cold rain
I live in a lot of pain
I look up at the clouds
That rain on these grounds
Above me the water is black,
It causes me to slip off the track
I look around at the rain
Most of it looks clear and plain
Except the stuff that falls on me
With this black water, it’s hard to see
I try to walk to the clear water
But it has become harder
I can’t escape the blackness
And all of its darkness
The black water follows me
It just will not let me be
It falls down hard on my head
It rains on me while I’m in bed
I can’t escape the black
I can’t get back on track
The black water pulls me down
Makes me fall to the ground
It won’t let me be free
It holds tight onto me
I try to run from all of this
But I am stuck in this abyss
And it is full of dark water
And to swim becomes harder
The black water holds me
It will not let me flee
All I can do is call out
For help and live in doubt
The black water holds me
Makes it difficult for me to see
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-07-23 22:39:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:43:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
o mi goodness this is an awesome poem i love it so much!
i saw the title n it so reminded me of the movie... DARK WATER ooo scary... well not that scary just kinda weird ya know?
great write i love it *scrolls up to top and reads again*
jennie* |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Misunderstood_gurl on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:47:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You rock! i love this poem...it's so awesome! I love your poems...you're so good at wrtiting! |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kayden on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:27:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good wright i enjoyed reading it and man this really paints a picture in my head- great job
-Jimmy |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 01:36:17 AM AEST
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| great write. sounds like you run track cool. Great imagery i could really visiualize it. |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by HatchetGirl on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 05:04:04 AM AEST
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| I love this poem... It reminds me of how I feel all of the time... even when others think your happy this is how you feel... it never stops, sure you may feel happy sometimes but the darkness is just playing with you. |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:23:04 AM AEST
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Ohh i liked this, i don't know why. I guess we've all been under the black water. Good poem i liked it.
Jane~ |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:57:11 AM AEST
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| God write and the first I’ve seen of your work. It truly does show the darker sides of ones thoughts and the pain that they bring. It was worded very well and keep me drawn in all the way through. Thank you for your comment on my write as well it is much appreciated. Keep up the good writes….Steve |
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Re: Black Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xsitm on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:50:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| nice job |
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