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Violins
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:16:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Take away trust and take away breath
Take away life and bring me death
Slowly becoming worthless to you
Disappointing failure in all that I do
Crushed violently by the reality of life
Remembering terribly my ongoing strife
The edge is right there but will I leap
I see my blood but I do not weep
A hole in my chest and a scar on my heart
An eternal misery surely tears me apart
I hear the drum roll and violins play
Oh how I shall end my life today
Tears they do stream as I close my eyes
Crying now much as I say my goodbyes
Do not fear, my child, do not fret
This will be the last day for me to forget
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-07-23 22:16:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:29:38 PM AEST
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good write, jennie! But NO! plz, don't give up on me, jennie. you know i'd have to kill myself if you commited suicide. you are my best friend and i'm not about to let you go. please, jennie, please don't give up on me. please, tell me what's wrong. good write though, keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 10:45:13 PM AEST
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Very sad but good writing.
Hang in there. Hope u feel better realy soon.
huggs, prayer,
emy |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by suicidal_imbecile on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:02:43 PM AEST
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jennie in the month that i have been away your writing has improved, but your depression has deepened. what can we do for you? what do you want to change in your life. figure it out
kate |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Misunderstood_gurl on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:25:59 PM AEST
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| well...what to say. First of all...awesome job! 2nd of all... I can really relate. and 3rd of all...just hold on...you can make it. dont give up! |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kayden on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:32:12 PM AEST
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| ha ha WOW!!!!!! This is defenitly the BEST!!! poem I have ever read. But it is really sad. Give it all to God And he will give life so you dont have to take death. No more scars he will heal them. Trust and give it all to Him. |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:09:28 AM AEST
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never say good bye
pause
take a deep breathe
and remember you are needed |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 12:10:19 AM AEST
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never say good bye
pause
take a deep breathe
and remember you are needed |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Asthenia on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 01:26:17 AM AEST
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Great poem, it was fantastic.
I'm not sure what's exactly wrong or what's made you this depressed (but I'm sorry for whatever it is) and I know you don't have any reason to trust me (since we've never spoken) but if you want someone to listen to you...send me a pm, I'd like to hear you out if you need someone to...and as a depressed person myself (though not as much as you) I may be able to relate in more ways than you think...we have to try and hold on though to see tomorrow and we also need to remember:
when we hit rock bottom...there's no where left to go but up.
Great poem...hope to read more. |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by veenu on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 02:10:36 AM AEST
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i find that ur poem is better than all today
good luck |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 02:43:16 AM AEST
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Jenny,
I happen to love the sound of violins.. I always hear them cry when played.. so, nice title and those violins really set the stage for this sad write..
I was about to sign off and I just happen to notice your poem here.. Violins, so I had to go see what it was all about..
Well, let me tell you.. as far as the poem, its dynomite.. but the words curse my soul as I feel so frightened when I know someone is hurting so bad.. and I can't be there physically to help..
yet, I hope I can help you with my words to you here..
I know what depression is like.. my father died from it.. my older brother has it.. I have a small amount of it from time to time..
Most of mine is because I am going through my new woman change, oh how nice lol lol..
It is one hard disease to work with, yet.. all you can do is take one day at a time.. there are medications that you can take for depression.. ask you doctor.. don't wait..
I take this natural relaxant and it really keeps me calm, gives me those warm pink fuzzies.. its valerian root, used for centuries.. they work for my hotflashes.. and calm my nerves.. I get mine at the chiropractor office.. here is an online site so you can read all about it..
http://www.naturallycomplete.com/
This one here, you will need to go to your doctor for.. here is the site to check out as well..
http://www.depressionhelp.com/
At any rate.. many depressed writers penned out the greatest poetry.. Use your depression as a good tool.. that it will help you to write great.. but don't let the depression eat you up.. do you understand what I mean? get a handle on it..
To lose you off this earth, would be taking away such a beautiful gift you give to each of us on this planet.. get some rest ok.. you are loved...so very loved lady.. Take care..
and remember.. I love you, and Jesus loves you and don't you forget it..
I am not a stranger to any human on this earth.. they are all of my brothers and sisters.. amen..
Raquel Leah (Poetress) |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:22:47 AM AEST
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It's a good poem, i just noticed you dont use periods or spaces. It'll make the poem more easier to read if it was done like that (just a thought).
Jane~
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by cooley1818 on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:23:29 AM AEST
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great write, and sometimes i feel the same way, but ya gotta think about the things that u do have.. its never worth just giving it all away
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 08:05:56 AM AEST
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| A sad but yet a very good write with so much pain and emotion in the lines. Your writing style is so good and its been awhile sense I’ve seen your work. Keep up the good writes but keep your head up. I pray you never have to fallow through with what this write is about. You have more then enough friends here to talk to if you need us. Just look at all the comments you got, everyone can feel your write and your writing is you so we all feel you. Take care my friend and keep up the great writes and poor it all out….Steve |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by CryingInVain on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 10:09:37 AM AEST
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| When I saw the title it reminded me of a song by pearl jam called Daughter, "young girl violins, center of her own attention",I could always relate to pain when I heard that song and in this write I could feel the same extreme pain.Very heart felt and sadly written, hope things get better for you. |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by thepizzaguy on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 11:12:06 AM AEST
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| I'll tell you the same thing I told my friend who was going through these kind of troubles. Jen, when it seems like you've hit rock bottom in your life, the only way to go is up. And that's the truth, it may not be up right away, it may take some time. But the only way to go is up. About the poem itself, I think the title is very effective. Violins are beautiful instruments, yet they always seem to sing a depressing song. Very good write. |
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Re: Violins
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 11:24:38 AM AEST
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this was an amazing poem. I have to say though that suicide isn't the answer.. Though sometimes i wish that it could be.. This was really great. it had a nice flow and it just was amazing..
take care
christina |
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