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Appetite for Destruction
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 08:58:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Tell a tale so vile
as to eat away the flesh
Dig down to the core
where it's ugliest at best
Expose your secret
for what it's worth
Multiply dimensions
expand your girth
Shovel up a reprise
peppered with the truth
Bury the one who defies
speaking something uncouth
Demonic dining, lavishing
fed jealously and hate
Greedily gobbling---ravishing
strip to bone, then cremate
Choke on the ashes of yesteryear
the smoke burns and blinds your eyes
Wrap it in a luxe veneer
seal it with all your lies.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-07-22 20:58:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 10:01:06 PM AEST
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very well written, scorp. i enjoyed reading this and i liked how you expressed yourself with the words you chose. very well done, keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 10:31:38 PM AEST
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nice job scorp, i dont think it sounds angry at all...i love this the best
Dig down to the core
where it's ugliest at best"
really nice |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 11:06:01 PM AEST
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The passion Scorp-
"Choke on the ashes of yesteryear
the smoke burns and blinds your eyes
Wrap it in a luxe veneer
seal it with all your lies."
Gotta love that..
B
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 01:37:50 AM AEST
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Also sounds like a good recipe for slam poetry - heh.
Sounds like passion to me. Good work! Blessings, J. |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 03:37:36 AM AEST
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A very deep and dark write filled with so much pain released from the mind. I had to read it a few times to get all that was in it. It has so much and it really is worded well and flows so very well. Keep up the writes as always they are much enjoyed. sometimes I have the same problem when I'm happy I write my darker stuff….Steve |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 04:03:59 PM AEST
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yes anger is apparent deep and meaningful
well done scorp very effective . . .
Ben
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 07:20:26 PM AEST
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| a very dark and hypnotizing write and the ending was great, simple,powerful. awesome job, as always! |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by CryingInVain on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 07:41:25 PM AEST
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| Your use of words here is great, you expression of anger was tremendous, You say you were happy while writing this I could just imagine a write from you if you were really angry. |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 08:08:35 AM AEST
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You write well Scorp. I liked this, i have felt this was before and no i won't call this an angry poem.
Loved it, thanks for sharing.
Jane~ |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 06:41:38 PM AEST
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I simply love it. You go girl! Great use of words and absolutely superb how well you've expressed urself in ur poem.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 10:15:36 AM AEST
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hey hey... i love it! the past two poems i 've read of yours has felt something like a basement... but in a good poetic kind of way!
your subject's been dark and visciously visual to the mind's eye.. and it's just awesome to read.
i totally admire these lines!
Demonic dining, lavishing
fed jealously and hate
Greedlily gobbling - ravishing
stip to bone, then cremate.
good stuff.. yummy.. like, campbell's soup yummy lol
later
dwayne |
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 10:15:00 AM AEST
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Awesome Scorp. Very descriptive in the way you worded this. Very well done.
"Bury the one who defies
speaking something uncouth".......how kewl can ya' get? Awesome!!!
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Re: Appetite for Destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 11:59:45 AM AEST
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This was brillant.. It rhymed and flowed so smoothly.. I really liked it... great poem
christina |
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