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Far Fetal
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 06:37:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Far Fetal
Back to Archaic
and my toes bend and splinter
Nipples are soft and
My heart hurts and throbs
like yesterday's briuse and
my ill-chosen words.
I am wrinkled and purple
& moist like these walls
and i cringe & i shiver
Far Fetal
I do not like myself
and you can-
not like me
My collarbones sing & pivot and
Riveting are my words?
I am always in a black hole and
i will always love you and no one...
my pants are very cheap
& dirty and i like to
Eat shiny Red Apples
with my Tongue.
My stomach is empty
when it writhes and it twists
like my heart
like my life
like my wrist
So I sit here slouching
hear grumble and rumble,
here one knee is taller
than me.
Myself, I am apathy
and atrophy again,
wishes of corpses
and living
And tall treaded trees
in a forest of wet
Green moss grows to the east
and my eyes
are clear cold cutting blue
with dew drops & dripping;
early mourning by the ocean
and sobs.
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2005-07-22 18:37:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Far Fetal
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 09:03:58 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| A good write with a great choose of words and so much anguish in the lines. Your emotion in this right is very well felt. I wasn’t so sure about the way you broke it down but its your art and maybe I just missed something in the way you formatted it. But it was a good write with deep thought and emotion. Take care….Steve |
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Re: Far Fetal
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 06:34:08 PM AEST
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Another heart-wrenchingly beautiful piece of poetic art woven by your hands... and I think this time your fingers aren't lying... Such unimaginable sorrow I felt in this, cheri... If my eyes could cry anymore, they would bleed, and sacrifice any other type of sympathy they could muster...
I saw everything, as if I were a shadow in the corner of your room, watching as you inwardly die and contemplate all of the miseries that have ruthlessly befallen upon you... My heart writhes and twists along with your heart, your stomach, your wrist... and I, with my endless supply of words, cannot describe to you just how much agony I must endure... as I gaze helplessly at your weeping expressions, feeling so... utterly useless...
Your choice of words and style is enchantingly surreal, you create a lucid dream turned nightmare... with its morbid splendor and painful anguish... All that you weave with your golden pen... is, in my eyes, flawless... do not doubt your abilities and your talent, douce Lane... because you have such a gorgeous gift with words.
I am so sorry that you feel this way, and hope to no end that things are getting better... for, you deserve the best of everything, and nothing less. I send you the biggest embrace ever to be given, and bright smiles for your dark days... Always know that I am here for you, no matter what. Divine masterpiece, cheri... Sheer genius. All my love. Forever,
Your dear friend/little flower,
~*Stephy*~ |
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Re: Far Fetal
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 01:31:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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So I sit here slouching
hear grumble and rumble,
here one knee is taller
than me.
Myself, I am apathy
and atrophy again,
wishes of corpses
and living
you know I think I am the only one who gets those lines
coz its how i feel almost every night
this is more than just a great write and not really a bad way of feeling when it becomes to one as something normal |
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