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Toast to the Future, and Drink to the Past.
Contributed by
thepizzaguy
on
Monday, 18th July 2005 @ 10:57:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
So here we are.
Our final night in our hometown.
Our final night to see a movie,
together as a group.
The last time we get
to go up to the ridge
and look down upon the place,
that we've called home for so long.
For one final time,
we pass by the ice rink.
Where we all learned to skate
at a very young age.
We take one last look at the oak tree,
outside the rink,
where under the protection of its leaves,
we all got our first kiss,
one night, in the pouring rain.
We look on leaving for college
as a bittersweet affair.
And it helps to know
that we will have friends when we return.
But before we go my friends,
I need to ask you to do me a favor.
All our lives we have been busy
learning things in school,
and doing activities
outside of the classroom.
And when we hit middle school,
all of a sudden we started to get
caught up in drama.
We started to make
"mountains out of molehills,"
as our parents used to say.
We felt euphoria when we got kissed
by a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
And we felt crushed when they
left us for another.
We felt relieved when we got
our acceptance letters in to college.
And somewhat sad,
when our names were read
at graduation.
And so my friends I ask you this.
As we toast to our futures,
and drink to our pasts,
on this, our final night home;
Let us not worry about who
"hooks up" with whom.
Don't get caught up in drama,
and don't worry about
what we all will become.
For one night let's just...
...live a little...
Copyright ©
thepizzaguy
... [
2005-07-18 22:57:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Toast to the Future, and Drink to the Past.
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenandinlove16 on
Tuesday, 19th July 2005 @ 03:06:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This poem makes moving on not so bad because you have comeing back to look forward to... and it makes coming back not so bad because though there are bad memories there are good ones too... and there is the part of seeing your long lost friends! Awesome poem! |
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Re: Toast to the Future, and Drink to the Past.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Evshrug on
Wednesday, 20th July 2005 @ 02:31:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Waah! I'm spending so much time laboring over your writing works that I don't have time (well, between this and Halo) to write my own poems!
First of all: I think this would make an excellent farewell speech. Definitely shorter than ours!!! iSi, senor! I would like to say I feel that wasting time with the petty is, uh, a waste of time (Counterproductive to our Life's Purpose!), but that extends to the future and rest of our lives as well. And, I always fear that I AM wasting time (must be why I can't stick to one thing for very long). However, what should we be doing? To cease the drama, the games, etc, well, what is the true thing to do? How do we define a time that is "Just... / ...live[ing] a little..."?
As far as the writing itself goes, I see you end with a simple one liner that everything builds to. Is that your signature? Or just your favorite ending? Also, your paragraphs are all different lengths, although you are grouping them by context : last look at things/remembering places' meanings/In lieu of leaving, you need one thing (actually, each of the three sentences here seem to say different things)/ The petty things we've done/ request for honesty + ending line. The poem doesn't feel very tight, thought out, or have a clear message. However, I can almost see someone giving a speech at a graduation party, trying to come to terms with what his life has been about up to this point, what he/she knows of the future, and ultimately deciding that the present must be lived. And she will be lived. |
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