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A Charismatic Sparrow
Contributed by
SinginSilence
on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 01:26:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
Charcoal clouds linger overhead.
Gold bundles of newly harvested corn
Sit paranoid in lonely dread.
The clouds are suddenly highlighted in random flashes.
The air grows thicker and colder
As the sky turns to ashes.
A wail of thunder spontaneously cries out.
A gust of wind overtakes an apple tree
And knocks a sparrow right off its route.
The rain is long overdue.
And Mrs. Shaw’s carnations have been a long time dead.
Though, not even a slight drizzle, would be refused.
Driblet by driblet the sky now weeps.
A steady sound that drowns out thoughts completely
And leaves puddles wherever rain won’t seep.
The downpour retards its pace and slows
To that of a leaking faucet.
And the hollow clouds shift and let the sun show.
The golden bundles sit wet and static
And the sparrow starts to whistle
Oblivious, satisfied, and charismatic.
Copyright ©
SinginSilence
... [
2005-07-15 01:26:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Charismatic Sparrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 03:03:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. I'd have to disagree! I think this says a lot...Your descriptive words gave me a clear visual, and I enjoyed reading this. Great story you pulled together from just a photo...Well done.
Scorp. |
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Re: A Charismatic Sparrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 06:05:30 PM AEST
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| i agree with scorp. its amazing detail and imagery, and to get that story from a picture is real good imagination. it shows off your creativity. great job. |
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Re: A Charismatic Sparrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bob18Dylan on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 11:17:14 PM AEST
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| Great poem. I really enjoyed the imagery you used. Keep up the good work. |
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Re: A Charismatic Sparrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 05:16:06 PM AEST
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This...
Charcoal clouds linger overhead.
Gold bundles of newly harvested corn
Sit paranoid in lonely dread.
really sets the scene.. prepares my mind to intake what is about to take place.. great beginning write..
Very nice..very defined write.. opens up the senses..
And the hollow clouds shift and let the sun show.
And the sparrow starts to whistle
Yes, a lot of charisma in this poem.. the sparrow sings.. to let the world know, all is well now.. come out.. come out.. its alright now..everything will be alright..
I am happy the carnations and apples got a drink..
Very sensual and spiritual write..
The lonliness.. of the harvested corn.. nature rushes to bring life.. to the desolate
The storms bring comfort and hope.. all is happy..
I like the way you started your write out slow.. almost a standstill.. and then.. speeding up the voices.. and slowing down.. to balance out nature..
Thank you for posting..
RLPoetess ; ))
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