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Pulse Fails

Contributed by pUnKa_RaCh on Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 09:58:17 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



Self- condemning spirit
Has all but lied and fought
For any sense of redemption
Everything I’ve sorely sought

Sinister caves hide forgiveness
Shadows gently do tear apart
This Dispossessed soul I own
From the way you stake my heart

Unrepentant evildoer I am
Mark my forehead as a sinner
Damn me to eternal pain
For sin that’s been made my winner

Moral strength does weaken
Must perish to gain hope’s filling
To receive such virtuous favour
To be saved by this self-killing

Much awaited for ending nears…
Darkness prevails…

Spirit finally takes its leave…
Pulse fails.




Copyright © pUnKa_RaCh ... [ 2005-07-13 21:58:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Pulse Fails (User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 10:31:29 PM AEST
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Re: Pulse Fails (User Rating: 1 )
by poisonpen00ad on Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 10:57:05 PM AEST
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Wow! Good work. I enjoyed the way you have expressed this.


Re: Pulse Fails (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 09:42:24 AM AEST
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Very sad but unfortunatly so true at times.
We are born into sin where everyones veiws are different. It's hard to find ones inner self at times 'cause everyone is different. We can bring goodness or pain on our selves sometimes. Personally I know I'm somebody 'cause god don't make no junk.
Still I tottally understand the feelings. I've had um too at different times.
Now i savor lifes sweetness 'cause I know as long as theire's writng to do then he got plenty reasons to keep me here and that is write, write, write.
Very good work.
huggs,
emy


Re: Pulse Fails (User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 12:52:13 AM AEST
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very dakr poetry but extremly well writte. i love the way the ending comes together. i like your vocabulary and the way things are said bluntly. you did such a great job with this write. (i know sometimes we write and dont really believe in what we write, we just like the concept but ...just saying that a sinner wont endure "eternal pain" if they ask for forgiveness ....just sayin...) anyways another great write !


Re: Pulse Fails (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 07:49:26 PM AEST
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Wow Rach-
very well written..
and I LOVE the short, haulting composition of
the final two stanzas..

I think you are my new favorite dark Queen.. lol

"Sinister caves hide forgiveness
Shadows gently do tear apart
This Dispossessed soul I own
From the way you stake my heart"

that is so awesome-

B





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