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Darkness Hill
Contributed by
White_Rose_Vixen
on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 05:47:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Light treads no more where light once lived,
On darkened paths, on Darkness Hill.
So many tears were shed that day, so many lives were lost,
So many graves are on that hill.
The hill called Darkness Hill.
Light verses Darkness in an all-out war.
Good verses Evil. It was fought very far,
Far on a hill called Darkness Hill.
Light had lost the war,
And Darkness now reined.
Yet Light would never give up.
So they challenged Darkness again.
Light rose to the fight, and as they fought
They remembered the days of old.
When that dark-filled castle was called Light Hill,
And then their courage was made bold.
Darkness also rose,
Not wanting to lose
Their precious new castle
That they would choose
To be their castle of Darkness.
Light charged at Darkness,
Darkness charged at Light.
And then their armies collided,
Both fought and fought with all their might.
Now it was over.
Light won the war.
They reclaimed their castle,
And Darkness ruled no more!
Copyright ©
White_Rose_Vixen
... [
2005-07-13 17:47:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 06:09:06 PM AEST
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This is better than good, it is splendid. There is only one spelling error (reined should be reigned). I truly enjoyed this piece of work. Hope to see many more nice writes like this.
 |
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 06:19:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I forgot to welcome you to our home. You will find some really fine poetry here and some especially nice people. Hope to see a lot more of your work.
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by AmyLee4Ever on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 06:31:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC!!! Your first poem entry is great and creative. Dark and light... that is just a great thing to write on. I am anxious to read more of your writing... keep it up...
Jodi |
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 06:32:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well written, can't wait to see your second poem. |
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by SinginSilence on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 09:36:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| actually there is more than one spelling error, just reading it through once i found that verses is not the word you were looking for, it should be "versus." I liked the beginning, it started out poetic, as it went on though it read very straight foreward. It just seemed like darkness and light never came to represent anything. One last minor thing: you used hill quite a bit, the word seemed unneeded several times. "A hill called Darkness hill." I definitely see potential with your writing I would suggest that you read a variety of poets to help develop your style further. Keep writing, fo serious. |
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Re: Darkness Hill
(User Rating: 1 )
by R0b on
Monday, 20th February 2006 @ 05:17:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Really good poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. |
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