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Sonnet V
Contributed by
SinginSilence
on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 02:09:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
As patiently as the dewdrops do lie,
So doth Love rest there upon branch above,
And waking to rising sun, which does try
Of truer things by that which they’ve deemed love.
Emerald leaves of which I so dream of,
And a sparrow’s song in ever-knowing grace.
She doth to me as so a hand a glove,
As true as how the moon doth the sun chase.
How then Love looks down there upon her face,
And doth not balk to worth or yet keep pride
Stepped down to raise her to heavenly place.
Atop high branch where Love itself hath lied.
And who am I to dare argue his say?
That below her Love contentedly stays.
Copyright ©
SinginSilence
... [
2005-07-13 02:09:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sonnet V
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 12:36:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This kind of took me back to Shakespeare in school...lol Overall I think this was a lovely little write....It gave me some clear visuals. I think 'doth' was a bit overused, and not totally appropriate for all the lines you used it in. Words like 'doth' and 'hath' need not be in poetry to make it good...If not used carefully they can come off as phony, especially in this day and age when most people do not talk like that. I can see you have talent as a poet, and do indeed have a way with words, so keep it up, and they'll only get better!
Scorp. |
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Re: Sonnet V
(User Rating: 1 )
by poisonpen00ad on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 10:07:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Seems like you have cramed every little poetic concept into this. I would suggest some innovation and true feeling. You obviously have talet...unleash it |
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