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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 10:45:01 AEST

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coke

Contributed by 66pinkponys on Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 09:49:49 PM in AEST
Topic: drugabuse

I guess it pays to be Paytantiont (sp?)
But sometimes people have too much,

Sometimes you need to stand up
and take charge.
I guess im not good at that.

Look what happend,look at
how ***** up my life is.

I just let you keep doing
what you were doing,
know that this was going to screw us all up,

But i guess in away this could be my fault but hey
You my mom and dad,

You supposed to tell me you love me and that you care about me,
and not do lines of coke in the bathroom

I dont understaind what your problem is.
You need to get your ***** together
You say you're clean.

I dont believe you. I know you still do it.

GOSH I HATE YOU!!!!

Copyright © 66pinkponys ... [ 2005-07-09 21:49:49]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: coke (User Rating: 1 )
by dbchick05 on Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 09:59:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I think you started your poem out really strong,maybe too strong! Not many people will understand that "P"word , but by using bigger words it gives your poem class, but the curse words take away from the poems effect. Overall I like the direction of the poem and i understand that it is how you felt at that moment , but you should try to stick with some consistancy!

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