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another chance
Contributed by
karmen
on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 06:09:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Bleeding across the floor,
pleading no more,
crying non stop.
He wants her to bleed every drop.
He's lost his nerve,
"she's getting what she deserved",
is what he thinks,
at least with the more he drinks.
These are the last breaths shes taking,
he screams "you're faking".
The kids watch from under the bed,
there keeping quiet, as their mothers almost dead.
He kicks her one last time,
he's completed this awful crime.
She looks like shes in a trance,
but really shes gone, off to a second chance.
Copyright ©
karmen
... [
2005-07-08 18:09:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: another chance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unbreakable on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 06:48:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This poem is well written, but so sad. I like the last line, because it implies that she might find happiness after her death and is a pleasant ending to such a dark poem. The rhythm flows nicely..well done, keep it up
Krystal |
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Re: another chance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Apolla on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 07:49:27 PM AEST
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| This poem is very dark but without the darkness in it the point would be overlooked. You executed this poem gracefully. |
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