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A Whisper In The Wind...
Contributed by
eternal_dreamer
on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 05:29:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
As I look out of my window
At the starry night sky
Where dreams and wishes
Are cast way up high
The possums rustle in the bushes
The trees gently sway
Fire flies glow
The night's owls day
My feelings stir deep
Everyday it's the same
When the wind gently blows
It's as if it whispers your name
I close my eyes and
I start to dream of you
In my dream we ride
A bicycle that's built for two
We're in our own little heaven
As we dance into the night
We kiss and caress
Under the moon's light
Clouds begin to blanket
The once starry night sky
As heaven opens up it's doors
Rain pours down from way up high
Rain invades my window
Washing away my illusion of you
Smearing all the lovely colours
Of my treasured dream so true
Each and everynight
I await the graceful wind to blow
As it whispers your name
Rendevous with you I shall go...
Copyright ©
eternal_dreamer
... [
2005-07-08 17:29:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unbreakable on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 05:37:22 PM AEST
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Good write...I like that the stanza's all climax up to the seventh stanza, which also happens to be the darkest four lines in your poem. My favourite line is the last line and the title is very appropriate. Great rhyme and flow as well. Overall, great job...I look forward to reading more of your poetry
Krystal |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 05:50:50 PM AEST
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wow very well writin
and understandable
Rain invades my window
Washing away illusion of you
That was amazing to me I really liked
your poem and I will read more as you
post |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 06:11:08 PM AEST
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Wow! Great job with this write...I could sense the longing for this person, and could see the images as I read...Love the ending!
Scorp. |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 06:19:05 PM AEST
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Hrm as all ways Dreamer, a beautiful and just amazing write..wonderful job, As Always
~Clark |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 08:17:50 PM AEST
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Ah, memories and dreams. What I live for it seems. This is so sensually alive. But alas, the rain does come. One day, my dear friend, love will come and stay. Godspeed.
Rita |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 10:03:34 PM AEST
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Dreamer..this was spledid-
I love the over all flow and feel of each and every stanza-
a poem within a poem was each..
Stanza's 1 and 6...wow..
Great Write!
B
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 02:27:15 AM AEST
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if all dreams were like this i'd surely spend more time sleeping!
truly a great write, full of feeling and romance.
wizard |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 07:02:56 AM AEST
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| fantastic write,,you write with such style that it draws the reader in,,I salute you..hugs Eddy |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 05:10:09 PM AEST
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This touches me in a way that is sad and beautiful at the same time . . .
((((sue)))) Ben |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 14th July 2005 @ 07:45:01 PM AEST
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Oh how very lovely indeed!
You have a wonderful gift, you mesmerize your readers with your lovely words, and we await in anticipation for the next line to see what may happen.
The rain erases all my images of you! How very clever and original. You are very talented that's for sure~!
I really enjoyed this poem, and thank you also for your wonderful comment on mine.
Welcome to YPDC if no one else has welcomed you.............We're so glad to have you aboard! We will enjoy reading your poems for many many years!
Warm love
lovingcritters
consue |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Thursday, 21st July 2005 @ 01:10:42 PM AEST
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| a good write very heart felt and filled with happy and sad thoughts at the same time. thanks for your comment on my work and I'm glad you enjoyed them as well. things can be busy over here but I'll try and read and comment on some of your work when I have time....Steve |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 17th August 2005 @ 07:22:38 PM AEST
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Very nice, very clear writing..
The wind excites you to dream.. brings the awareness around you.. helps you to recall some beautiful memories.. brings about a lot of images as well..
Very romantic write for a loved one.. right there in nature.. stripped down to its purest form of beauty.
What happened here? Your write seemed to bring a different view.. yet.. its a deeper process of slowed down contact with self.. the aha in life.. not going as well as one could expect it to be..
*****Clouds begin to blanket
The once starry night sky
As heaven opens up it's doors
Rain pours down from way up high
Rain invades my window
Washing away my illusion of you
Smearing all the lovely colours
Of my treasured dream so true
Each and everynight
****I await the graceful wind to blow
Yes.. the wind serves to bring back the loss, to restore it in the mind, if not in reality..
*****As it whispers your name
Rendevous with you I shall go...
Sail in your thoughts with the wind..
Very nice write.. Terrific title..
I found out what all that whispering was..
Nice information all the way through the write..
RLPoetess ; ))
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 08:54:22 PM AEST
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Very good poem.
God Bless
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:17:01 AM AEST
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Sometimes a memory is what keeps us alive. May yours always be fond.
I love the poem, from beginning to end. A very graceful piece.
Take care.
David |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 09:36:45 AM AEST
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| I love this! It has a strong, melancholy tone to it, and the meter seems to add to the wistfulness of the piece. The imagery is simply fantastic.... I could go on and on. Fantastic job! |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Thursday, 12th January 2006 @ 03:16:35 PM AEST
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lovely
NS |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 4th February 2006 @ 11:41:21 AM AEST
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| Your writes of the longing of the heart are so beautiful and vivid to the imagination. I can't help but feel all of your words...Mike |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 01:14:58 PM AEST
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A brilliant and deep poem.
Take care.
Scott |
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Re: A Whisper In The Wind...
(User Rating: 1 )
by windowguy on
Saturday, 11th April 2009 @ 10:29:29 AM AEST
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| Enjoyed reading this. Well written. |
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