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The Dark Citadel I Keep
Contributed by
Kitty06
on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 10:30:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
So dark a secret I keep
I forgave him and because of this I weep
Twice he deceived me and yet I am to blame
My most secret thoughts were why I was framed
A love that was only half there
Of the true distraction I was aware
My heart withered as my secret grew
He grew distant from me and I feared he knew
Then I found he was unaware of my secret shame
I found that he was in fact playing a more risky game
'I told her I loved her but don’t worry it’s not true'
'The only one I love is you'
A crack grew in my heart and I forgave him
My guilt was heavy so I obeyed his every whim
I grew afraid I would say another name
On the phone I would make up excuses that were lame
All I wanted was to hear that secret voice, the one I listened to in vain
My guilt and the hurt from the first forgiveness nearly drove me insane
Then came the second hurt the second twist of the cruel knife
Again I forgave him wishing for a different life
He had kissed her…
That’s when I knew it was not I that he preferred
I sank deeper into my secret digging for the feeling I craved
Hoping soon I might be saved
I waited by the phone not for his calls, but for another’s
Unfortunately both of them were friends like brothers
I craved his voice in my ears as an addict craves liquor
I knew it was wrong and yet in his direction my eyes would flicker
He was my friend and I dared not cross that line
I knew that my boyfriend was not that blind
At night I cried while he was asleep
I never told anyone the secret I keep
Then there was that day so calm and quiet
Yet I sat in my room weeping for inside my heart there was a riot
Two hours late and he stayed in stony silence
I feared he had learned of my heart’s defiance
His face hardened and I knew today was the end
Then he said it was over but we could still be friends
I cried and my heart screamed
And yet all I could think of was a small secret dream
To be with my friends was my last request
He would drive me to them as his final recompense
Niki was busy and Megz was away
And yet he was the one I wanted to choose anyway
His eyes told me he knew when I told him my choice
I could feel the betrayed sadness in his voice
We came to my secret’s home
Even with him in the car I still felt frightened and alone
So angry was my secret but not angry with me
He was angry at Bill because he had cheated on me
He glowered in the back as I stared at passing trees
Tears blurred my vision until I could no longer see
He peeled out as he drove away
Angry no doubt and I turned to my secret not knowing what to say
We walked inside the west entrance of the mall
As we mounted the escalator I wondered how high up it would take me to die from a fall
And yet I looked over at him and knew that idea was not good at all
We sat by a fountain and I cried feeling wounded and trapped
Then he offered me comfort by allowing me to cry sitting in his lap
Over and over again I asked him why
And my secret would wipe away tears and ask me not to cry
Finally a moment of silence came
I looked into his deep brown eyes and wondered if he was thinking the same
'I don’t care anymore' and he quickly leaned in
He kissed me and I kissed back, slowly I felt something warm in my heart begin
He pulled away his eyes glittering, ablaze from his crime
“I never believed you would ever actually be mine�
Those words meant so much to me
I finally felt my caged heart break free
Never again, I promised, will I love another
For to do so would be my worst plunder
He agreed and said from now on not to be afraid
Our two hearts were now linked with everything to say
He will never leave; he will never throw me away
In his heart I will always stay
'Not another tear will you cry'
'I promise you my love until the day I die'
Copyright ©
Kitty06
... [
2005-07-07 22:30:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Dark Citadel I Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 08:20:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| rebounds dont work most times but good luck |
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Re: The Dark Citadel I Keep
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 02:37:50 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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i hope it works out...a truly moving write. it seems that a women scorned can also strike back.
wizard |
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