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True Friend
Contributed by
Live2Die
on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 11:13:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
An impenetrable high,
Never wanna say goodbye.
It isn’t drugs,
It’s pure hugs.
The feelings in the air,
Flying like long hair.
Oblivious to the world,
These kids are gonna get hurled,
Into something new,
And into something true.
An invisible connection
Buried in affection
There’s love there,
So do be aware.
Please note, there is no end
To a true friend.
Copyright ©
Live2Die
... [
2005-07-06 23:13:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: True Friend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 11:31:43 PM AEST
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This is soo sweet.
Scott |
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Re: True Friend
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 03:02:46 PM AEST
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A true friend will always be with you, through the highs and the lows, through the smiles and the tears.
Always hold onto them
Steve |
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Re: True Friend
(User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on
Saturday, 2nd February 2008 @ 05:07:56 PM AEST
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I like the end, but the beginning could use some editing/rewriting. What you are trying to say is clear, but it might be said with more subtlety or grace. The clearest example being the blunt play on the hugs/drugs cliche.
This inarticulation does leave you by the last six lines or so. The ending is something to be kept. Edited, possibly, and reworked as needed, but largely kept.
"Please note, there is no end
To a true friend" |
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