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Marry Me?
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 08:08:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Marry Me?
Compassion is shadowed
With hate mellowed
In carelessness
Of bliss.
If only you could be
The only one I want to see
From day to day as we waste
Farther and still more farther away.
Dress me in the whitest of all the gowns
So that shadows will not drown
Us in our lost love for life
And golden time.
Marry me please,
Or bury my need.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-07-06 20:08:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 08:12:26 PM AEST
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| this poem surprised me becuase it had sort of a dark twist, but i enjoyed it. the different elements do this poem good. short,simple and intriguing. good job. |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 08:16:24 PM AEST
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awesome jen, never fail to make everything you write have a dark part to it somehow...lol..as always lil sis,
~big bro (who loves it!) =] |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 08:30:12 PM AEST
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Guess no matter what, you just can't take the dark out of the girl! What to do, what to do, lol. Jenn, this is a great poem, but did we have to have a wedding and funeral dirge at the same time? lololol
Rita |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 09:53:45 PM AEST
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yes! YES! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!! LOL
I like the contrast and confliction of emotion that's so strong in this piece...To me, it's like a desperate call for help...To end a pain so deep, that maybe can never be fully erased. That's what I got from this...Right or wrong, I enjoyed your expression in this write, and the third stanza stood out the most for me.
Scorp. |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 09:59:00 PM AEST
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Yes I'll marry you baby
And your mind too for
each poem you write I
fall more in love with you
Thats just my way of saying
your writing is great
MUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joey |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 10:33:28 PM AEST
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What a beautiful write-
3rd stanza's best..
and the last two lines give it the copyrighted tragic twist that is all yours.
Very well written..
B
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by CarolinaBlue on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 01:13:48 AM AEST
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wonderful write! the expression is terrfic and the ending ties it up neatly, bittersweet.
~Blue~ |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 01:25:04 AM AEST
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"Dress me in the whitest of all the gowns"
."Marry me please, Or bury my need"
I feel this is a beautiful masterpiece...:-)venkat
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 04:10:11 AM AEST
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Um no way sister. Im not into girls LOL J/K.
I did love the poem. It was short but it was packed with so much emotion to it. I liked it.
sorry for not commenting much. I've been to arsed to do so.
Jane xxx |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 07:19:14 AM AEST
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| AMAZING, i love it!! |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorkfish on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 11:20:41 AM AEST
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| That was sort of sweet, yet dark. A plea for love and help at the same time. Nice job. It had like a twist to it. Short, but enough to say the point. Great job! |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 02:12:07 PM AEST
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a well devised request
a well written poem |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 02:22:10 PM AEST
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This is beautiful and of course you are a
tottal geinus, the ending once again is the
the core of brilliance, love the ambiguity here
the play on having the cake and eating it 2 . . .
Ben |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 11:57:55 PM AEST
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This was beautiful, a masterpiece! Completely beautiful. I just realised all your pieces have even more meaning than they do when you first read them, I read this five times over before I made this comment, and I don't think it was a good idea because now I am completely speechless. This poem left a beautiful and glamorous feeling in my heart, thank you.
Keep up the writes, you are amazing.
.amanda. |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 11:38:28 PM AEST
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Ah sad but very beautifully written. Very touching.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Marry Me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 11:38:17 PM AEST
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i hear 'dido' playing in the background while reading this...just semms to fit for some reason.
great job but you know this.
thanks for sharing |
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