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i'm tombstone alone
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 03:34:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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ghosts of old trees
haunt me inside
i'm tombstone alone
for too long i've cried
black tree despair
i'll hang by my smile
and stretch out my care
for one more last mile
webs of her soul
entangle me here
and darkens me whole
to black and damp fear
true, i love her above
in clouds of wet white
but is rain like true love
when lightning breaks night?
i bathe in her blank
and swallow shell words
into oceans i sank
while gasping dark birds...
and on and on and on...
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-07-06 15:34:48] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i'm tombstone alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 04:43:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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DW I truly like this. I loved the flow and the way you've captured this. Another great write from u.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: i'm tombstone alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by deathdrop on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 05:09:52 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like this too.
don't use suicide as your escape!
don't waste your-self!
and don't waste your talent either, 'coz...
have you ever heard the saing...
it gets better before it gets worse? |
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Re: i'm tombstone alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 11:03:53 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I got some good images from this write. You used some clever wording in this piece, which gave it a fairly steady flow. I personally would've left the 'on and on' part out, but you did a good job nonetheless. Well done Dwayne!
Scorp. |
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Re: i'm tombstone alone
(User Rating: 1 ) by Dorkfish on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 11:11:48 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That was great. Excellent wording. Great imagery. I really enjoyed reading that. |
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