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Ripples
Contributed by
wyrd_faerie
on
Thursday, 9th January 2003 @ 02:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I watch you trying to swim, to float, to stay on top of things
And I stand at the edge, looking in
And I watch
And I see
And I know the inevitable
You can’t stay afloat forever,
Clinging on to the little life that you have left
And I realise, as I watch the ripples you create
The ripples that are your friends and family,
That I see myself in you
See my reflection.
And as the final breath escaped from you,
From me,
Fifteen thousand people screamed, realising their mistake.
Copyright ©
wyrd_faerie
... [
2003-01-09 02:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ripples
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 9th January 2003 @ 12:15:22 PM AEST
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This was good especially for a 12 yr.old. Its so true that we can't stay afloat forever. I dont know where the 15,000 ppl came in though. Keep on writing.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Ripples
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 15th January 2003 @ 04:44:13 PM AEST
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| i liked it, but u shouldnt have gone into the family and friends bit. A poem shouldnt have to explain itself. |
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Re: Ripples
(User Rating: 1 )
by cryingonmyporch on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 12:44:33 PM AEST
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I liked the poem needless to say. It is nice and your right can't do it forever!
Always
Amy |
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Re: Ripples
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Monday, 23rd June 2003 @ 05:13:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Like i told you long ago, this is so beautiful, and i love the last line : )
love char x_x_x
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