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Weeping Willow
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:24:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Faded is the sketch
You drew of my face
You’re named signed at the bottom
With all your love, you said
Aged are the spices
That once thrilled to no ends
The butterflies and numbness
When I first saw myself in your eyes
Ancient is the love
I once tossed in your path
Tripped up on my own words
Only you got back up so damn fast
Antiquated jitters
Upon your belated arrivals
A transition of lives
We waged our fair battles
Gone is the glamorous scent
Of your hair on my pillow
Did you get this last letter I sent?
It was my last, a portrait of my past
A weeping willow
_________________
___________
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2005-07-05 16:24:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:37:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| beautiful,daring,sad. Amazing write as always! i loved this. especially the third stanza...it really caught my eye. |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:38:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Beautiful and sad. Your choice of imagery and symbolism is excellent, it brought this piece to life.
Andrew |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:47:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I"m always impressed with your writing skills
and this poem is 5 from me 10 if i could |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Benny14 on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:56:33 PM AEST
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| This is very good... imagery is excellent, and though sad, there seems to be a hint of affection given to the memories, which is nice |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:59:45 PM AEST
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Well I'm sure you know what I think of this write...So I won't waste my breath.
Scorp. |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 05:29:03 PM AEST
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A remarkable and outstanding write. Written with such deepth and sadness. The imagery u cast into the readers head is sensational.
Well done.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 08:12:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The third stanza was great..
but more importantly for me..
the last..
Beautiful saddness indeed jyss..
enduring truth in everything you write..
B |
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Re: Weeping Willow
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 08:28:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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beautifully sad, i enjoyed this thoroughly
wizard |
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