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Closing Off
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 09:27:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Everyone tells me to have an open mind
They say I should not draw the line
That I do between them and me
They say that shouldn’t be
That I should not be off by myself
Should not close off from everyone else
All this crap that you say
To me everyday
Pushes me away
In everyway
My mind closes off to you
My heart closes off, too
Telling me to not fight on my own
Just makes me want to be all alone
All this that you say to me
Makes me want to leave
Telling me to talk
Always makes me walk,
Walk far away from you
And close my mouth, too
I shut everyone out
I live in total doubt
I like to be alone
I like to be on my own
I rather draw the line
And close off my mind
I rather be quite smart
And close off my heart
I rather close myself off
I rather be tough
And be by myself,
Without anyone else
Rather close off to you,
All you who have been untrue
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-07-03 21:27:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Closing Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bones on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 10:55:32 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Hmm...how to start...well, I'll just go stanza by stanza, ok?
Stanza 1:
Very nice. Very deep. But it is good to keep an open mind on somethings. But then again, not on all things. And you should draw that line on certain things. It's sometimes good to have limitations. But never put a limitation on creativity or imagination.
Stanza 2:
Nice ryhme scheme.
Stanza 3:
It is sometimes good to be alone. To make desicions on your own. But never forget this, my friend, for one day even you made need help.
Stanza 4:
Personally, I find it relaxing to be anti-social. But, there also may be times when you need a good friend to talk to.
Stanza 5:
Being alone gives you time to think, time to yourself. It gives you a time to have an overview of your plans. But yet again, sometimes having company can be a good and rewarding thing.
Stanza 6:
It'll be hard alone, with everyone closed off. But I believe it is a good thing to ignore those who have been untrue to you.
Overall, very good poem. I really like it. Life is at times hard, but don't let it pull you down.
-Bones
P.S.
Sorry this post was so long. lol Next time I'll try not to pull a 'Day Breaker.'*
*Inside story...don't ask. lol |
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Re: Closing Off
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 10:05:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| ::applauds:: brilliant, brilliant, and brilliant. i loved this, mainly because i could relate. keep up the splendid work. |
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