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the summer of love and death
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:42:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
happypoetry
|
rain pours off the roof as another homeless person dies
i seen him everyday as he weps and cries
a mother pushes her stroller to welfare
to get a bottle of vodka and smokes
no love for the kids as the women chokes
the weeds in the lot outside my room
fills with the decay of this cities tomb
the tourist all come to see the big lights
uranating on the streets and causing fights
this is summer in my hometown
i wonder why i never go around
beach blanket folly and needles in arms
why is it that we do so much harm
just remember those poor souls
when they ask for change on your summer stroll
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2005-07-03 19:42:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the summer of love and death
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:51:55 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Great job getting your message across on an often touchy subject...I like the irony of you putting it under the "Happy" topic as well. Overall this poem is good. You express yourself well, and are descriptive which lends to a visual while reading...My only real complaint would be the bad grammar and a couple spelling errors. Give it a quick once over next time, or click 'yes' to allow the moderators to fix any spelling mistakes...Keep it up!!
Scorp. |
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Re: the summer of love and death
(User Rating: 1 )
by forsaken_soul33 on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 04:15:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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whoa great poem. I liked the way you described everthing. I was able to picture everything as I read along. Keep up the good work.
bye,
☺Mando☺ |
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Re: the summer of love and death
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Saturday, 30th September 2006 @ 10:33:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a powerful write,very good and the message giving here should be heard..
Great write..
honey56 |
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