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The Gate Of Happiness
Contributed by
forsaken_soul33
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:32:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I found the gate to happiness,
It's been here all along.
I found the gate to happiness,
And it's right here in this gun.
As I stare down the barrel,
You feel peril,
But I feel a sense of happiness,
That I haven't felt in years.
As I drop there tears,
Don't think that I'm afraid,
Because I am actually happy,
As my soul begins to fade.
As I start to pull the trigger,
The gate begins to open,
I begin to rejoice,
As the gun speaks with a heavenly voice.
As my skull rips open,
And my brains splatter upon the walls,
I am thankful for this happiness,
As my body begins to fall.
When my body hits the ground,
And my blood gushes out,
I die smiling because,
I won't share this happiness that I have found.
I leave this note for you to read.
'I found the gate of happiness if this gun lying next to me.
Now I bleed for you see,
That I am as happy as can be.'
Copyright ©
forsaken_soul33
... [
2005-07-03 19:32:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Gate Of Happiness
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 09:14:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Okay look, the way to get readers attention is...make a catchy title that they will want to read..now the comment please thing, is sad, because you did that as a pitty trick..now did i like the poem, Loved it..brilliant work, but why beg and ask for comments..you will only recieve nice comments and ones that wont mean a thing compared to a person that is compelled to comment FROM THE WRITE, not asking..now im sorry if i offend you by me telling you this, just asking is degrading...why not write work tht demands attention and demands a comment..this poem is near that for people that can relate to it..and i can..its a great poem, If you want more people to look at you and read your poems more and comment more, you have to give to the site first..its a two way street..not a one way one. comment on poeple poems and they will see your name and remember it..they will be like, "hey lets go read their work, since they were nice enough to read mine" and if you write great stuff like this one, they will tell you that without you having to ask. Anyways, sorry for the huge blob, great work none the less, just the asking for comments is something you should think twice about
~Clark |
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Re: The Gate Of Happiness
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 09:19:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good write, but please don't kill yourself. you need to be strong with us. we need more people to fight the thought of suicide and to be strong so this world can live on. if you kill yourself, you will hurt other people (some on this site). please fight the thought and be strong for all who care! wishing you the best of luck!
~sprints
p.s. keep up the good work! |
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Re: The Gate Of Happiness
(User Rating: 1 )
by forsaken_soul33 on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 09:55:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm just letting everyone know, that the title of the poem is "Gate of Happiness". It's not "comment please". That was a mistake, I put the title in the wrong place. Just letting you guys know.
Thanks,
Mando |
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