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My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
Contributed by
eternal_dreamer
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:01:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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My heart lays slumbered
Beneath this battered body
Cobwebs surround it's core
Waiting for a new prodigy
With each and everyday
Hope slowly fades away
Settling amongst burnt hearts
Dormant until its awakening day
This heart once flourished
It's every part fulfilled
There came a blackened day
It's loving blood was spilled
Dangerous affairs of the heart
Can play with a persons head
Cursing, twisting and tormenting
Leaving the heart hurt, charred and dead
Now my heart forever lays
Forlorned to the silence of hate
Awaiting the very day
'Til someone rids it of this forsaken fate
Copyright ©
eternal_dreamer
... [
2005-07-03 19:01:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:00:46 PM AEST
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Wow!! Well done!! Excellent expression in this piece, and such good word usage. A very intriguing kick off to this well thought out write, and I love the third stanza the most...Keep it up!!!!
Scorp. |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:33:20 PM AEST
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I love your work..
and this is no exception.
Your words are so profound and true to the moment..
Your timing and word use is exceptional..
5 stars from me..
B |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 10:12:46 PM AEST
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| Feel the pain come through in your write good write 5 for you |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 02:14:37 AM AEST
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Ohh what a well-written piece of poetry. I loved the realness of this poem; its just mind capturing to read such powerful words.
Nice write. Keep them coming.
Jane xxx |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 12:23:50 PM AEST
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Perfection so full of raw emotions.
(((HUGS)))
Fantastic
love Angelxxxx |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 07:06:58 PM AEST
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Splendid. The emotion is well-penned. I hope love comes to fill you life again and happiness shines on you. Never give up hope. Love can be standing just around the corner. We must never give up faith and hope.
Rita |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 07:25:06 PM AEST
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| brilliant poem very well penned ,,I loved this,,yer a poet and I know it |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 02:16:32 AM AEST
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very profound and heart felt feelings.
Excellent poetry.. sincerely :-) venkat |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:36:05 PM AEST
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excellent writing. such a great description of a heart once whole...
i am sad to say that i know this tale all too well.
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by AmyLee4Ever on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 06:02:21 PM AEST
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This is so much filled with strong emotions. This last stanza really spoke out to me...
Now my heart forever lays
Forlorned to the silence of hate
Awaiting the very day
'Til someone rids it of this forsaken fate
It's like there's no escape. You said the only escape is for someone else to rid your fate (which is an unlikely happening). It is like everything is out of your hands... you have no control over your life anymore. You're helpless and forever stuck. You are forced to live inside of your mind and you can't help yourself. Knowing that you can't escape you pain just causes more. What I said is obvious through your poem. To me all of that screams out. It's good that you can do that. Well, another great write...
Jodi |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:05:38 AM AEST
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No, that is not your heart's fate. With words such as these, your heart must be beautiful, and as such, I believe solitude will lose its grip on you. May love pass through your heart soon.
Take care.
David
P.S. I loved the sprinkled alliterations. |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 09:34:20 AM AEST
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Excellent poem! I love the imagery of these lines, it's very strong:
"My heart lays slumbered
Beneath this battered body
Cobwebs surround it's core"
And I love the wisdom of this stanza
"Dangerous affairs of the heart
Can play with a persons head
Cursing, twisting and tormenting
Leaving the heart hurt, charred and dead"
I look forward to reading more form you.
Emily
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 03:37:37 AM AEST
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| Sadly beautiful poem, need to hear your laughter, see your smile again... life is beautiful, many hide-aways-left, find them.. huggies with love from your friend, who like you-devotes herself to God.. RL :D :P |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honesty_strikes_my_pen on
Sunday, 15th January 2006 @ 04:17:45 PM AEST
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Beautiful, beautiful work!! Don't leave your heart slumbered forever. Life cannot and should not be waisted on heart ache. Take it from someone who knows!
Keep up the superb literature!
*~Honesty_strikes~* |
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Re: My Heart's Forsaken Fate...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 12:48:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is really deep, it's a great poem. I hope things get better for you.
Take care.
Scott |
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