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Stages Of Life
Juvenis
Snapping twigs, crushing leaves on
beetles in dirt on innocent
worms-
My boots, forest deep
loosed me to beauty
though on heedless feet
swathed in socks
wrought from slaves
in sweatshops
far from me-
So new, so dumb to love
my trusty Daisy BB gun,
(madness- a gift to anyone).
I aimed and true to twenty feet-
drew bead on scarlet feathers,
violence mine, I now owned
death//'//s redder shade
of leaking life bereft.
My new soul twinged, suppressed
yet stained (thank God!) and
left
on the doorstep of my soul.
My blundering;
a young beast dispensing
death with every step unthinking,
rashly wrought in
moments free of cost,
the world was mine (I thought),
made for me alone-
So young then,
soul groggy still,
yet that Cardinal killed
stirred
first trills to ring me from
my waking sleep
to unheeded wisdom//'//s thrill.
Medius
Older now,
astute, my soul acquired breath;
gone, dismissed
acts of wanton death,
more careful, in this new me
I learned soft concern for (even!) worms-
feathered chirping arias touched on wings
my ears they sing from heart to bobbing Adam//'//s lump;
Oh silly worms!
a wiggling life my eyes and smile lifts-
concrete futile missions never learned-
compassion now, these hands (these gifts)
with joy and blessings to them kinder earth returned-
humans though- oh, these fools as I;
spiders, beetles, worms, cardinals more deserving
life-
innocent unsullied brains,
purity not seeking wealth, dominion, gain-
just eating and not being eaten,
continuity their beauty;
intellect, our bane.
People; smelly rotten scheming
smiling, perfumed, beaten, beating.
No worm or beetle ever to my back
stabbeth sharp to demean, attack;
but rows of suited smiling fools
scowling to attend demands of Sabbath
mouthing words upon a page
to play the role of Shakespeare//'//s stage.
These middling years found my heart open
(in one chamber only) for those simpler beings,
those not compromised- humanized,
thus I allowed room in me for all but us;
awakening, my mind began (at last),
though a miser still
to place tender in my spirit//'//s till.
Antiquus
Winter no longer icy grip,
no curses on a careless slip;
I see I//'//ve fallen and see others fall,
beetles, birds, worms, humans-
no fence now, my heart accepts them all.
Gone, scorn born of my barren place I put away
when the mirror finally spoke
(or I heard when I awoke);
my unseeing eyes, they saw my Dorian Grey
choking peeking past my iron rules,
hubris vanished when unsheathed,
I saw I had devolved into a gnashing clumsy fool.
Long at last I learned disdain denies
my soul a gift reserved;
held (by me) at bay in wait
whilst life crumbles walls of pride
that provides for ego//'//s fade;
once scabrous heart, broken soul,
undone (at last) and gone by this new man I//'//ve made.
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