to my children i apologize
that they were stuck with
only
me the parent remaining
when the beautiful one so
charismatic and full of life
was
taken forever
♥
my youngest never saw a
video of his dad til a day
ago
never quite believed love
i have claimed was so real
for: fondly remembering our
lives
back then
♥
no, love is clearly, truly in
undeniably, irrevocably, old
video
right there for all the world to
clearly see as once real tangible
beauty, a presence ive held in
my
heart all
♥
these years- for i had all these
memories stored in a safe box
that
has been burst wide open, the
lock shattered, top overflowing
heart ripped into a million pieces
all
over again
♥
no longer am i able to pretend
the way i have for far too long
that
im okay with life taking our love
away- i have smiled and claimed
happiness when there has been
none
left in
♥
my soul since the day he died
anyone can fake that they are
fine
til the dam explodes loneliness
in uncontrollable waves of tears
water creating wretched havoc
overwhelming
every thing
♥
i am unable to move, frozen in
place, left wanting, bereft of any
coherent
expression to my children i love
with all my heart about how sorry
i am they were stuck with a parent
who
only writes
♥
sorry they lost a beautiful soul
who equally loved them with all
his
heart and was ripped away from
all he loved in this world forever
looking down upon us longing to
simply
be reunited.
♥