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Insecurities
What is it about me that I cannot see
Can this be all that I am...is this really me...
Looking for who or what I am inside
Searching for the Intricate features of a beauty that seems to have died...
But can I say ...with honesty that a beauty within me lived
What air did it breathe what life did it give ....
If there was a beauty deep down..well it barely had a pulse
If for even a moment it sprout of course I'd beat it down to a pulp ....
For this I know, Nothing good lives within me, I am rotten to the core
If there could be anything I have to give, its as if it were dragged through the floor ....
Insecurities those hammer away at my soul each day
Taking control of what I think how I act and of course what I say ....
I'm exhausted this unwanted guest is tearing me apart
Breaking me Limb from limb, making me blind and wants to claim my heart! !!....
It's a war each day with whats in my thoughts and what resides in my head
Its constantly nagging me and seeking to be fed...
This beast inside that's robbed me of my life my dreams and beauty within and out
I'm tormented by the things I don't need to know or should care about....
This is what it does it keeps me trapped in my head in the misery for my company it wants to keep
It invades my thoughts steals my happiness and doesn't even let me sleep. ...
An eviction notice has been served and I want you out right now I say
No longer can you live here in my head or in my life you are not allowed to stay....
You were uninvited, you came without warning and now you must go
For I want only happiness and peace and with you this I do not know...
Unforgiving relentless you stick around like a stench that cant be washed
I demand a life without you and I mean to sound harsh...
I want to get angry I want to fight for control of what is mine to save
So please leave me alone I want to start with today...
You are a demon. a liar and thief of what I should have never gave up
You kept me from joy and peace and a real chance at love....
The insecurities you deposit into me like an lethal injection
You spread into me like a terminal infection....
You watched me wither and turn into the monster that I am not
But now I will be injected with a new kind of shot....
Its a shot that has been prescribed and it comes from self worth
I will remember that I can only be damaged if I let myself hurt....
Goodbye hopefully for good I don't want to see or hear from you again
You were not nor will you ever be considered a friend...
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