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The Truth Of My mother


I exist, due to you.
Were not that fact a thing of truth;
in soothe, indeed, to be precise,
but for that deed
you wouldn't be in my life.

When I think of you I starve in soul;
recalling absence, empty bowls,
days alone with roaches-
masquerading men,
buggering me repeatedly
four years ere' I saw ten.

You watched your latest man back then
urinate into a Dixie cup-
I didn't clean the toothpaste up,
you stood by while I drank it down,
I swirled in misery while my love drowned.

And now you come like all is well;
“Hello Son!, I've missed you so!”,
Only as you gave me life,
I spare your heart what my soul knows.


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