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She Won't Know
its broken, its split, the pieces in me that somehow hold a semblence
of a life together and i can feel every
poison in me leak through the cracks in my skull
if i lay my head down I feel unbalanced all the fluid pool to
one side and the tempting urgency to stop breathing and
just die
the torture in knowing there is no escape and its all dual sided
the messages are confusing, empty, tired, withdrawn and don't even know
what to say to me anymore
i'm tired of these waves, these voices, this exhaustion
my own sick disgrace. I've built my own walls and knocked every
single one down I've injected streams of chemicals through me
and wondered why I never feel alright
I can never grasp ahold of anything, I never know what it is I need, what she needs,
What I believe. the tide of tears in me threatens to break the bank and I have nothing to hold onto so our death certificate will say
she sank
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