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Time is frozen with the thoughts of you

Snowflakes glistening on the cushioned banks around me,
Ice bound trees bend their weary branches over the well trodden paths.
The sound of silence overwhelms my soul and I fill the silence with thoughts of you.
I see your face in my mind as I wander down the sidewalk, no purpose to my steps.

I am going nowhere and will arrive in no time.
Wind whistles in my ears and I shiver in the cold
Time is frozen when I think of your smile
I feel your hand slip into mine and I turn towards where you should be.

But you aren’t there and my hand grasps the frigid space
I shudder and realize that I have stopped moving.
I begin again, a slow, jolted pace, trying to clear my head
But without you, I am empty, so thoughts of you keep slipping into my weary mind.

I am tired of resisting you, but I cannot move on with you consuming my every thought.
So again, and again I try to let the silence around me cleanse me of your presence.
But you are still there and again I realize I have stopped moving.
I lift my head and a spark is struck in my heart.

I will move on.
My steps find a purpose.
I look at where I am,
And I pick a place I want to be.

My heart groans with the memory of you.
But you are a memory and will not block my path.
I will put you behind me,
Nothing will keep me back.

I stumble and fall, Wearily lie on the stone cold ground, no warmth in sight.
Do I lie here? Or do I get up?
Thoughts of you are knocking on the doors of my mind.
Can I resist?

Can I find the strength to get up?
Memories of your voice, “If you can look up, you can get up.”
My face searches for a sky that I know should be there.
But it is dark and I can’t tell whether I am up or down.

A voice in my head chants “Don’t give up, Get up”
Over and Over and Over.
But it’s dull rhythm pounds on an unresponsive mind.
I am lost.

Will someone help me?
Help me to my feet?
Hold out their hand?
Lift me up?

As I lie here, On the cold weary ground. Thoughts of you seeping into my fragile, broken soul.


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