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Gone
Valentine's, 2012
You held me like there was no one else
A year has past, and I finally see
You were seeing her while holding me
I was only there to ease the aches
Of the finer things the Reaper takes
And now I find I'm jealous of
Another girl you'll always love
I've had my trials; I've shed my tears
I would be dead if you weren't here
But that gratitude is slipping fast
When I catch these glimpses of your past
You always were her biggest fan
If she couldn't have you, no one can
You made it obvious to me
I'm not that girl you'd wish I'd be
The compliments were easy then
Perhaps because they weren't pretend...
And even though she rests in death
You shut me out for that lacking breath
If there's just one who has your heart
Whether she be worlds apart
I'll never see the whole of you
I never see a love that's true
And in the chaos that we've shared
I remember how little I compared
When faced against such little girls...
It's easy when I'm not your world
Even when she betrayed your love
No one else could be enough
And though the Karma had come through
She still means the world to you
The universe in it's mysterious ways
Tried to bring you brighter days
And still you gave up all your soul
On one little girl that had made you whole
Never can I measure up
So never can I get that love
And knowing how it feels to lose
I just wish she hadn't borken you
But selfishness still reigns inside
I still wish it was me who died
Two pairs of loves who's stars were crossed
Two shining hearts the world has lost
And I know how these pains never heal
And I know my dreams of Him aren't real
Still while I find I can't begin to see
I know that we weren't meant to be
But you and I--we could have loved
10 years alone, they're not enough
Still I know I was just a kid
And I can never forgive the things He did
The way He left me, hanging dry
The way He let his future die
The way He gave me all the world
Then stole it back--I'm not His girl
While He was still my greatest friend
There was a reason for His end
I didn't need need groups to help
I dealt with everything myself
I didn't curl down at His feet
And pray God return what he stole from me
Instead, I faced the future days
In hopes I could redeem His waste
But you don't move; you sit and wait
She threw a hook--you took the bait
You cry and wonder why it was
God had stolen all you loved
I did this, too, but I moved past
Knowing that it wouldn't last
But you stayed still; you know the truth
She was your love and she loved you
I'm sorry I can't be that way
I'm sorry that I'm part to blame
I'm sorry that I'm just not her
I'm sorry that you feel that hurt
I'm sorry that I'll never be
That girl that wanders through your dreams
I'm sorry that you had to cry
I'm sorry that I didn't die
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