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Unsatisfied Urges
Sometimes
I have these urges
That cannot be satisfied
Because they're bad
But I have self control
I tell myself that
I have self control
Because no one would be happy
I stop myself because I've trained myself
To taste but not to eat
But my tastebuds have withered
I'm training myself not to taste, now
But still my urges grow
Thought patterns I thought repressed, forever gone
Are rising back up in my throat
Repetition in my thoughts feel like a ticking clock
What if...
Just this once?
Let go... It was an accident
Too deep
Well why not take off, disappear?
Okay, one last time
Take too many? Not enough?
Imagine...
Turn the wheel now, fly away, pretend you forgot how to swim
Just open the door...
Stand too close to the edge
No
Just flirt and all will be fine
All will be fine
She told me I would be okay
She told me she would be there
My internal compass is out of whack
Something is wrong up in my head, I'm sure
And where did she go? Perhaps I forgot how to talk
Maybe I forgot how to see
Part of her held my sanity, I think
But who was she to hold my sanity?
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