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Planned Obsolescence
The sage of age has turned the page; Oh come, let us deny;
Our aches and pains and aging bones, and youth as it goes by!
Little pills for little ills; and bottles of prescriptions;
Pink and blue, flat and round; with promising inscriptions!
Chemicals for every need; dispensed in wild perfusion;
Some grow hair, and some fire sex; promoting youth’s illusions!
We have but to swallow; guided by the clock.
Directions that we follow; warnings that we mock.
Yet the wonder pill today that everyone now touts;
Soon will have us lawyering for damages, no doubt!
Enter plastic surgery for chins and eyes and chests;
So you can live to ninety-nine with perky little breasts!
Peel me, sand me, bleach me; Buff my aging hide!
Snip and nip and pull my skin and tuck it all inside!
People are a resource we use and throw away;
Judged not by their wisdom, but measured by their grey!
Obsolete before their time, like our cars I fear;
For people tend to judge our worth by looking at our year!
It keeps the docs in business; It raises stock in Merck;
It makes employers nervous the longer that you work!
It sells those handy gadgets when you can’t stoop or reach.
It markets cruise vacations and homes in West Palm Beach.
Wait until you cross the magic line to 65;
When demographics tell the world that you won’t long survive!
You’ll get ads ‘bout alzheimers who say your brain will warp!
Installment scams for funeral plans, and member cards from AARP!
Samples of pill supplements to help restore your senses!
Pads that treat sore muscles, and blot incontinences!
And though you still have all your teeth; they’ll discount denture creams;
Alarm your house, and guarantee to answer fallen screams!
You must have plans to keep your home, even if you’re broke;
Insurance for your funeral costs; and step-in tubs to soak!
And on and on it goes because you’re at that magic season:
With lots of time to vote and spend, and they don’t need a reason;
To target you for health foods and all your little ills;
To sell you on solutions that multiply your bills.
So here’s to all you nearly-deads; whose lust for life defies;
your presence in God’s waiting room; as Wall Streets lullabye!
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